Khaki Snack's 2005 Song of the Year

Ah yes, 2005: The Year When everyone was still listening to the music from 2004. The very same music that one year ago made me long for the return of rap metal. I'm so tired of Green Day, Arcade Fire, The Killers, Jack Johnson, Panic!At the Disco....I get it, you recorded a "concept album"/ have violins/ have a good haircut / are the new Dave Matthews / look like 12 year olds who robbed a wig store. Great. Call me old fashioned, but I preferred the simplicity of a live Kid Rock performance. He relied on a skilled band, comprised of midgets and prostitutes, instead of relying on trends or gimmicks. It was about his music. He didn't have to be from Montreal, or feature a-tonal singing in order to gain success. Instead he came out of Detroit, a relative dead zone for music, and sang about his awesomeness. That's something I can get behind. While it's true that Kid Rock will likely be relegated to Rap-Metal infamy, is that such a bad thing? Unlike emotional screaming rock, and indie rock and roll, rap-metal isn't simply a buzz word used to sell ugly people's music. It has a rich history of cultural and political importance.

For instance, how lame would the movie Judement Night have been if it weren't for the hauntingly powerful pieces recorded by collaborations between Slayer & Ice-T, Onyx & Biohazard, and Faith No More & Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. Oh, and Helmet & House of Pain too.

Without rap-metal, Woodstock 99's passionate fires and parisian-style rioting might have been nothing more than a sleepy crowd holding up lighters while Peter Gabriel played an extended version of "Biko".

Without rap-metal, bands like Korn wouldn't have been able to rise to glory, then fall into obscurity, only to attempt a comeback by placing popular hip-hop performers in their video and letting them talk over most of the song.

Without rap-metal, the world would be without Fred Durst. And that would just be a shame.

Fortunately, despite the overwhelming amount of garbage released this year, there were some bright spots: Madonna, Rick Moranis, Willie Nelson, etc. And shining brightly above them all, are the performers of Khaki Snack's 2005 Song of the Year Award.

Khaki Snack's 2005 Song of the Year Award Winner: MY HUMPS by the Black Eyed Peas

My Humps is a brilliant satire of current pop music. Its video combines thought provoking lyrics with powerful imagery to illustrate the floundering state of the music industry. Stacey Ferguson's portrayal of the pseudo-empowered objectified woman is bang on, while Will I Am's performance is both unsettling and relatable. A strong song, coupled with an even stronger video makes this the hands down choice for song of the year. Also, it's really awesome when you're wasted.
RUNNER UP: R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet parts 1-infinity. If he keeps making them, I'll keep watching.