Reed Johnson for President

It's pretty awkward when your cell phone starts ringing from across the room when you are in a meeting. It's slightly worse when your ringtone is "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun".

Believe it or not, we're still a band (sort of)

Sure, we haven't played a show since November. And sure, that means I basically haven't played guitar since November. And sure, Dave has been out of the country since January. And yes, he'll likely return a changed person who wants to "make a difference" and "settle down". But all that aside, we're going to start playing some shows again late in the summer, around Toronto.

In the meantime, everyone should check out the new radical dudez song. Sure, they're in a west 49 commercial, and on the west 49 website, but this new song sounds more like it would suit ...oh, I don't know... maybe a Bay commercial. Also, should they catapult to Bay commercial success and beyond, be sure to remind Adam Bell about the time he said we could ride their coat tails all the way to moderate, Canadian-level, quasi-stardom.

I'll leave you with a picture from a show we played in Kingston last October. Months later that hat would prove to be so gross that total strangers requested I take it off.

(From left to right) Dave, and Derek (not pictured: Provan, countless dissapointed people saying "This is all it is?")

You've Been JUICED!

I never expected OJ to sink to Kato's level. Not only does he have his own hidden camera talk show, but he is doing bits involving a white Bronco.

As you can see he's also borrowed one of his infamous Nordberg wigs. I can't wait to see the look of fear on people's face when they realize who they've been talking to.
"Didn't you..uh.. kill those people"
"No no no, the blood soaked, dried up leather glove didn't fit. I'm only criminally responsible."
"Oh, so you're doing this to make money?"
"No, then I'd have to pay their families."
"So...you're, like... just a douchebag"
"Man, you got juiced!"
And so forth....

In other news, Rick Sutcliffe & Bill Murray like to party! Baseball, beer, and Bill Murray. Who wouldn't be living it up?!

Why couldn't this stuff have happened when we had a weekly show. All we got were earthquakes, tsunamis and popes.

Ok, the pope stuff was pretty usable.

And he would affectionately call you "Shorty"...

The Bob Ross Lexicon of Colours

This is new to me. I passed my first time, but failed to perfect it until my 3rd try. To be fair, it took us 3 months after composing our tribute ballad for him before we realized it wasn't Bandike Brown.

In other news, I did something really cool today- I bought cigarettes. Now, I've never smoked a cigarette in my life, so for me, this was quite a rush. My new boss smokes a lot and often tries to get me to pick some up for him when I go for lunch. Usually I'm able to think of excuses to get out of it, but today when he asked, I froze up. He was offering to buy me breakfast, and once I agreed to that, he added "And while you're there, pick me up a pack." I noted my moral convictions, jokingly, but it was neither funny nor effective. So, next thing you know, I'm standing in Smoker's Variety looking to buy a tobbacco product. I felt rugged, masculine, and confident upon purchasing this product.
One of the first things I noticed was how light the pack felt. In retrospect, this could have been a result of the adrenaline that shot through my body as I looked at the less-morbid-than-usual warning label. A bunch of cigarettes in an ash tray? You're going to have to do better than that to stop me from buying cigarettes for my boss, using his money.
Another thing I noticed was how people looked at me differently. During my walk to the car, I thought about how I was no longer seen as the guy who can't grow a beard, but rather the kind of guy people go to when they need a lighter, or possibly breathmints or gum.
All in all, it was a very rewarding experience. If I could do anything differently, it would be order a more masculine ciagerette than Extra Light. (This too, may have lead to the pack having a minimal weight.) I really don't want people to think I'm the kind of guy who can't handle his fair share of tar.
So if there's anyone out there feeling down in the dumps and who has yet to buy a Mother's Day gift, why not kill two birds with one cancer causing vice and buy some cigarettes. Your ego/Mom will thank you.