And he would affectionately call you "Shorty"...

The Bob Ross Lexicon of Colours

This is new to me. I passed my first time, but failed to perfect it until my 3rd try. To be fair, it took us 3 months after composing our tribute ballad for him before we realized it wasn't Bandike Brown.

In other news, I did something really cool today- I bought cigarettes. Now, I've never smoked a cigarette in my life, so for me, this was quite a rush. My new boss smokes a lot and often tries to get me to pick some up for him when I go for lunch. Usually I'm able to think of excuses to get out of it, but today when he asked, I froze up. He was offering to buy me breakfast, and once I agreed to that, he added "And while you're there, pick me up a pack." I noted my moral convictions, jokingly, but it was neither funny nor effective. So, next thing you know, I'm standing in Smoker's Variety looking to buy a tobbacco product. I felt rugged, masculine, and confident upon purchasing this product.
One of the first things I noticed was how light the pack felt. In retrospect, this could have been a result of the adrenaline that shot through my body as I looked at the less-morbid-than-usual warning label. A bunch of cigarettes in an ash tray? You're going to have to do better than that to stop me from buying cigarettes for my boss, using his money.
Another thing I noticed was how people looked at me differently. During my walk to the car, I thought about how I was no longer seen as the guy who can't grow a beard, but rather the kind of guy people go to when they need a lighter, or possibly breathmints or gum.
All in all, it was a very rewarding experience. If I could do anything differently, it would be order a more masculine ciagerette than Extra Light. (This too, may have lead to the pack having a minimal weight.) I really don't want people to think I'm the kind of guy who can't handle his fair share of tar.
So if there's anyone out there feeling down in the dumps and who has yet to buy a Mother's Day gift, why not kill two birds with one cancer causing vice and buy some cigarettes. Your ego/Mom will thank you.