Go Ahead! Make Your Bed.

Estelle Getty is the second YOUNGEST Golden Girl. I did not know that.

Kerry Wins Election...as Jury Foreman

CNN is funny: http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/11/23/kerry.juryduty.ap/index.html

So lately I've been looking through a lot of my old junk, trying to throw stuff out as my parents attempt to remove all evidence I ever lived in their house. In grade 11 drama I wrote a radio play with a friend of mine called "The Erotic Adventures of Moses". The premise was that "he gets into all sorts of crazy trouble...searchin' for love". How on Earth did we get away with this? I don't think it was very funny, but the theme song was pretty catchy.
This past weekend, I went to the John Orr dinner in Toronto. Well, not the dinner part, just the dance part, which in retrospect was a bit of a mistake. All I wanted out of the night was a picture with "Buffalo" Bill Leggett and/or Karen "Fat Guy Silhouette" Hitchcock. Of course, by arriving late, I totally blew my chance. It was still pretty fun. Provan was there in his purple shirt, marking the first time in weeks he wasn't wearing his matching Jeff Gordon hat and jacket. Dave was there too, but couldn't get in. Probably because he was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. My favourite part of the night was when a friend of mine laughed so hard he thought he dislocated his jaw. We contemplated going to the hospital. But we didn't. Another John Orr miracle.

I really wish I could think of a better nickname for Karen. I've used Hitchy in the past, but it's not that original. Unlike Buffalo Bill. It's pretty original. I got it from the NFL's Buffalo Bills.

Save Our Bluths

So khaki snack hasn't done much in a while. We've been busy getting ready for the holiday elections. In the meantime, I've been anxiously awaiting the return of Arrested Development. I knew if it was gonna go down, it was gonna make a good exit, and if this article holds true....oh man, it's gonna be an amazing final 8 shows.





From http://www.tvguide.com/News/Entertainment/default.htm?rmDate=11182005 :

"Leave it to Arrested Development to mine the tragedy of its imminent death for laughs. Per Variety, series creator Mitch Hurwitz is planning an episode that will poke fun at Fox's decision to reduce the show's episode order from 22 to 13, effectively canceling it. In the episode, titled "S.O.B." for "Save Our Bluths," the Bluth clan considers throwing a fund-raiser to save their construction company from shutting down. In one scene, Jason Bateman's Michael notes, "Our backs are against the wall.... It's just hard for me to accept that it's really come to begging." There's even a conversation about whether the Home Builders Organization — HBO — might be willing to come to their rescue. That idea is quickly nixed though, leading George Sr. to say, "I guess it's Showtime. We'll put on some kind of show at the [fund-raiser]." Meanwhile, after reading this item on TVGuide.com, the American public released the following statement: "Huh? I don't get that last joke. I told you this show was dumb." "

Christmas Trees

These are the reasons why my new career selling christmas trees will be good for the band:

1- Its helped me spruce up my wardrobe (i have a cool red uniform)
2- Hours of standing around the tree yard has made me pine for the open stage and lots of beer.
3- I will return to the band a lot more comfortable with needles (seriously... beyond the pun the people I work with do A LOT of weird drugs)
4-I get a lot of experience with bows.
5-When I get back on stage i want a lot of scotch (pine... is a type of tree)
6- I can now take a firm stand about the moral implications for firs


ALSO... don't ruin christmas for your family by buying a generic christmas tree... those boy scouts... not to spread rumours but a lot of people have found razor blades hidden in their trees..

so this season only buy the original KRIS KRINGLE Christmas Trees... also make sure its pre wrapped and that your parents look at it before you open it....


seriously we sell all these branded trees... its weird.

Chicks digby Bigby

It looks to be the Final Countdown for Arrested Development. I've been crying a lot lately.

Dear Fox...

...Don't even think about it.

ALSO The Rentals are getting back together! I'm uber-excited about this, and apparently Maya Rudolph might still be in the band. On the site it's mentioned that Weezer asked Matt Sharp to join as a fifth member. WOW. He's not gonna do it, which is probably a good idea, but let's not kid ourselves, the last time weezer was awesome, he was in the band. Anyway, I guess this would make this the actual Return of the Rentals. Who knows though, Matt Sharp says a lot of things-I'm still waiting for his acoustic album with Rivers. And by the way, those songs they played together a few years back-Incredible. They were like Rentals songs, but acoustic and awesomer.

But seriously, stop messing with Arrested Development.

My mom also suggested a song that she felt would suit 50 cent

Here's an excerpt from an email my mom just sent me.

"how bad is that humps song? a song about eating pancakes with subtle innuendoes could be refreshing and catchy especially if greg sang it a la j.d.fortune of inxs.
-ur mgr"

In other news, yesterday there were two episodes of arrested development. awesome. i also rewatched awesometown. also awesome. then i downloaded The 'Bu. Pretty awesome. i think the new snl people are pretty solid. But i still don't find Finesse funny. Except for that time Lorne Michael's made fun of him. And that was Lorne being funny.

Yep. Back in Peterborough.

This drink will do, and girl you look alright...and this band is playing like hell tonight

Friday: Cambodiana: good, Us: unpleasant, Memory: One I'd rather not have
Saturday: Sweater shopping: good, Adam Bell's house of instruments an his ability to play them: good, people being less happy party than usual at sci fomal: weird, still a lot of people being crazy fun: good, bourbon: good, playing shout with jack kerouac: probably over the line, realizing sweaters & dress shirts & t-shirts are hot together: good(attractive) & bad (physically overheating), dave breaking 2 strings on his guitar: throwback to yesteryear, dave bleeding: creepy, dave breaking his first string in the first song: sort of funny though, Fajitas for dinner: good, Blowing a fuse mid-set: down by the bay probably isn't that funny anymore, playing songs several times because you hoped people would be too drunk to notice but then they do notice and you're like "uh, whatever": whatever, there's more to write but i'm sort of bored of this day now: yeah Sunday: Uptown Girls: I can't believe I watched the whole thing
Monday: Here is a conversation that took place at my dinner table

Mom - "What can your brother play in your band? I've decided I'm going to be your manager, and I'm going to make Greg put on tight pants and run around the stage"

Derek - "What?"

Mom - I've been watching that Simpson father, with the two singing daughters a lot lately. I think you need to start appealing to 13 and 14 year old girls. That's where all the money is. Haven't you heard of JoJo?"

Dad- "Who's JoJo?"

Mom- "Oh man, you are SO out of it."

So all in all: good weekend.

Richard Allen George...No, It's Just Cheez

SCI FORMAL WEEKEND IS HERE

I'm pretty excited because it's the one show we play where it really doesn't matter. I mean, sure most shows are rough and people are too drunk to notice, but this show...wow. Last time we played Sci Formal ('03) we had a very finite list of songs that we knew how to play and had practiced with our drummer. We played maybe 6 of those songs. Everyone attending Sci Formal just got bonkers. We played Barnone 5 times. We covered AC/DC and the Counting Crows, two songs I never before knew on guitar (or particularly enjoyed)... and I still don't know how to play them. Drunken buffoons were continuously running on stage to sing songs we had never before tried. It was pretty awesome, until I got sacked about 3 times. Even then, it was pretty rad. So for this weekend, instead of practicing for days we're just gonna hope for the best. And I'll be honest- We won't need half of our best for this to be the easiest show in the history of time.

AAAAAAND then there's tonight at Clark. Hi-Fives are opening, and I'm pretty excited since I've never seen them before and they are top notch dudes. Following them is the main event, Sharp Hint of New Tears, the Queen's super-group playing songs by an adult who wrote sad teenager anthems. It's going to be wicked. Closing out the night will be a band called "Croccodile Mile", until I can find a better name for us doing songs so we remember how to play them the next night.

In the words of Dave Messer "If you're going to Sci Formal, come see us tonight so you can see how great we are, because lord knows you'll be too drunk to remember us tomorrow" Also, good luck with your hours, sucker. Remember-going to Sci Formal is fun, as long as you don't dissapoint your date and spend most of the time fighting in the stairwell.

Cambodiana tonight!

Dave Messer in Snack-face

Last night I had a dream about Dave's wedding. The highlight was a speech from Dave's best man, who looked like a cross between Mikhail Baryshnikov and Ian Holm. I think it was Dave's mentor or something, and he gave a pretty moving speech. I remember thinking "Wow, that's deep. I now understand my purpose" I really wish I could remember what he said. Also, the hors d'oeuvres at the reception were top notch. Most of them had a spicy flair, if I recall correctly. Actually, I think they were just things I've seen on Triscuit boxes over the years. Anyhow, it was a super fun night, and Dave and Kim put on this amazing dance routine. I'm talking something out of Bollywood. Then I woke up I think. The moral of the story is that I can't wait for Dave to get married.

Letter from a Starving Artist

In other news, I'm pretty excited to get back to Cambodiana this weekend. Although, I'll be honest I'm a little stressed out. Not so much about the fact that we're playing a show with a drummer who we've never played or practiced with before, but more about what we're going to wear. Sci Formal really demands a certain level of class, but on the flipside we're cheap. Two years ago we wore pink shirts, white pants and teal cumber buns... however I'm told it's a fairly large 'faux-pas' to recycle outfits at formal events, EVEN if they are gorgeous. Maybe we should all get fake moustaches. I know moustache are a bit cliche, but it's tough being me sometimes. You see, I can only grow the infamous Anti-Hitler, where you grow nothing under the nose, but simply on the outskirts. And I'll be honest, sometimes a guy just needs a moustache. I don't even know how to get fake moustaches. Do they itch? Probably.

Anyway, Dave and I made a list of new songs to cover for Sci Formal. I hope everyone going likes Roy Orbison. We will likely practice these after Sharp Hint this Friday, so anyone is more than welcome to hang around and watch us panic at our lack of knowledge and prepardness.

Finally, the highlight of my career in construction occured while writing the last paragraph. It involved overhearing a lengthy decision regarding our engineers' ability to "raise the roof". "Raise the roof, Tony. You gotta raise the roof." Unfortunately, in the end it was determined that we, in fact, can't raise the roof. Bummer.